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mark373
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day

Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue

Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever


So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?

I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?

I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye...





Keep on thi
nking it's a time to fly
 
 
mark373
13 June 2006 @ 01:11 am
Welcome to the last entry of this pathetic journal

I hope you have had a good life




peace out bitches!
 
 
Current Mood: uncomfortable
Current Music: I Turn To You - Mel C
 
 
mark373
11 June 2006 @ 10:45 pm
Fed up with my destiny
And this place of no return
Think I'll take another day
And slowly watch it burn
It doesn't really matter how the time goes by
Cause I still remember you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

We staggered through these empty streets
Laughing arm in arm
The night had made a mess of me
Your confession kept me warm
And I don't really miss you, I just need to know
Do you ever think of you and I
And that beautiful goodbye

When I see you now
I wonder how
I could've watched you walk away

If I let you down
Please forgive me now

For that beautiful goodbye

In these days of no regrets
I keep mine to myself

And all the things we never said
I can say for someone else
Cause nothing lasts forever, but we always try
And I just can't help but wonder why
We let it pass us by


When I see you now
I wonder how
I could've watched you walk away
If I let you down
Please forgive me now

For that beautiful







goodbye
 
 
Current Mood: sad
 
 
mark373
11 June 2006 @ 09:40 pm
tonight is going to be a long night

I slept all day

and my internal clock is off

and I don't care

All I know is

I am pissed

and I am determined to finish all this shitty work I have to do

and I am sick of complicated relationships and friendships

I am sick of stress

Thank God it is almost summer...

I am so happy to be going off to Niagara

though I am going to miss the majority of my friends

I am ready to get out of here




Senior Banquet and Bash were AMAZING !!!

they really did a killer job...

It was infinatly better then I thought it would be...

:-)

And I got to talk to people and just hang out and have a good time

with not just my close friends, but people I know more then just as an aquantance

and just let loose and have fun!

so yeah...

:-)


if anyone reads this before Monday

be warned

I have no voice

and I might be in a slightly anti-social mood...

it's all part of my cycle


c ya!




-Mark-
 
 
Current Mood: cranky
 
 
mark373
09 June 2006 @ 05:09 pm
too much of the the same stories in our lives

I think its time for change, don't you?

too much of the same stories in our lives

I think its time for us to walk away from here...
 
 
mark373
08 June 2006 @ 08:40 am
sitting in the F-2 comp lab...

kinda bored

and tired...

I got sick (I think thanks to Kristen)

lol

it's Karma...

I made fun of her for losing her voice, and the next day, my throat killed...

hahahaha

o well

I am getting better...

I felt MUCH better after the morning shower...

I can't wait for college next year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it will be nice to get away from people who can't commit to things

or make an effort to do anything to better their lives...

though I will more then deffinatly encounter people like that in college

I will be sure not to get too connected to them that  can't get away from them



in other news:
TODAY IS SENIOR RECOGNITION DAY!!!!

woot...

hahaha

and I love Nelly Furtado...

:-P

and I love iced tea...


and I better go...


AND...




HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNA
(It isnt for a few days for you 2, I know, but I might as well say it now, so if I forget on your ACTUAL B-Day, it is covered)

hahahaha



-Mark-
 
 
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: YOU COCK-JUGGLING THUNDERCUNT!
 
 
mark373
07 June 2006 @ 07:38 pm
7th grade:

stared at the girl next to me.

She was my so called "best friend".

I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.

But she didnt notice me like that, I knew it.

After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before, and I handed them to her.

She said "thanks", and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I wanna tell her, I want her to know, that I don`t wanna Be just friends, I love her but I`m just too shy,

and I don`t know why...



11th Grade:

The phone rang.

On the other end it was her.

She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart.

She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did.

As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine.

after 2 hours, a drew barrymore movie, & 3 bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.

She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I wanna tell her,

I want her to kno

that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and idk wHy



Senior Year:

The day before prom she walked to my locker.

"My date is Sick" she said; he`s not qonna go.

well I didnt have a dAte and in 7th qrade we made a promise that if neither of us had dates we would go together

just as "best friends".

So we did.



Prom niqht:

After everything was over I was standing at her front door step.

I stared at her, She smiled at me.

I want her to be mine, but she doesn`t think of me like that and I kno it.

Then she said "I Had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I wanna tell her, I want her to kno that I don`t want to be just friends, I love her, but I`m just too shy and I don`t kNow why



Graduation Day:

a day passed, then a week, then a month.

Before I could blink, it was graduation day.

I watched as her perfect body floated like an anqel up on staqe to qet her diploma.

I wanted her to be mine, but she didnt notice me like that, and I knew it.

Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her.

Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you`re my best friend, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the Cheek.

I wanna tell her, I want her to know that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love her but I`m just too shy,

and I don`t know why



A Few Years Later:

now I sit in the pews of the church.

That girl is gettinq married now.

I watched her say "i do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man.

I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that and I knew it.

But before she Drove away, she came to me n said "you came!"

She said. "thanks!", and kissed me on the cheek.

I wanna tell her, I want her to know that i dont wanna be just friends, I love her but I`m just too shy,

and i don`t know why }]|



Years passed:

I looked down at the coffin of a qirl who used to be my "best friend".

At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her hiqh school years.

This is what it read:

I stare at him, wishing he was mine, but he doesn`t notice me like that, and I know it.

I wanna tell him, i want him to kno that I don`t wanna be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy,

and I don`t know why.

I wish he would tell me he loved me...

I wish I did too, I thought to myself.

And I cried
 
 
Current Mood: infuriated
 
 
mark373
07 June 2006 @ 06:03 pm
ow...

my throat hurts beyond alllll belief...

and my head hurts

and i am tired and dizzy...










AAAAAAAAAAAH Senior Recognition Day tomorrow...


Must

Get

Better!



:-(
 
 
Current Mood: worried
 
 
mark373
06 June 2006 @ 12:32 pm
0008005 CHE338A Instrumental Anal DEPL 202 TTH 11:10AM 12:30PM Prof. M. Schreiner NS




hahahaha!!!

I want that class...


just for the name :-P

it would be VERY amusing...


LOL
 
 
Current Mood: giggly
 
 
mark373
06 June 2006 @ 12:23 pm
You Belong in San Francisco
You crave an eclectic, urban environment. You're half California, half NYC.
You're open minded, tolerant, and secretly think you're the best.
People may dismiss you as a hippie, but you're also progressive, interesting, and rich!
 
 
mark373
04 June 2006 @ 08:52 pm
This year couldn't be more of an enigma...



I end up talking to someone that I thought I would never talk to again

yet...

I am talking to them more lately then...

Someone, at one point, I would always be able talk to...



It's both painful... and eye-opening
 
 
Current Mood: confused
 
 
mark373
03 June 2006 @ 09:57 am
Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."

-Erich Fromm-
 
 
mark373
01 June 2006 @ 11:09 pm
for some reason...

I am ready for a good cry..

I think I might rent "Pay It Forward" again soon...



that should do the trick...





-Mark-
 
 
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Calling All Angels (from the Pay It Forward soundtrack)
 
 
mark373
31 May 2006 @ 05:58 pm
It is SO hard...




not to let people you care about slip away...
 
 
mark373
You know, if God actually stopped and thought about it, I'm pretty sure he could think of something better to do with skin rather than hold your sorry ass together.
 
 
mark373
25 May 2006 @ 09:34 am
...

I have decided........


Clothing is ironic...

and not all clothing....

but certain clothing....

certain COLORED clothing....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
 
mark373
24 May 2006 @ 10:09 pm
wow...

weird day...

what more can I say?

:-/

I watched The Sound of Music...

and it was interesting to see it after so many years...

I used to love that movie so much...

the little child I used to be used to sing along to it...

Imagining what it would be like to be a part of the movie...

singing "The hills are alive, with the sound of music"

or "Do a deer, a female deer. Re! a drop of golden sun..."

and a part of me still loves to just curl up and sing to it...

especially

"Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens... Bright copper kettles, and warm woolen mittens... Brown paper packages tied up with string... These are a few of my favorite things! When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad. I simply remember my favorite things, and then I don't feel so bad..."

such comfort for a little child

such little comfort for a grown boy

though at least it is still a little comfort to a timid soul...

after this year is over

it will hard to say simply remembering my favorite things will help me not feel so bad...





on the plus side...

only a few more weeks left...

and it is time to move forward with my life...









"
Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream

A dream that will need
All the love you can give
Everyday of your life
For as long as you live "

-Mother Abbess from The Sound of Music-
 
 
mark373
20 May 2006 @ 12:53 am
sometimes...

it all seems worth the time and effort to live...

people are assholes

this world is so imperfect...

it just makes me want to curl up and die

leave it all behind...

the closest I can manage is curling up and crying...






but there are also those moments where it feels like all you want to do is live

times like

making my way through Capri, all alone, by myself, me and my iPod

listening to relaxing music

seeing new places

seeing new people

expiriencing utter bliss with the unfamiliar

or thinking to the future

imagining raising a family

in the house of your dreams

doing a job that pays well, while still allowing you to do what YOU want to do...

and that gives me the urge and boost to keep living...





this is one of those moments where I feel like nothing else can go... right...

everything from now on is just going to be worse then the last shit that happened...


all the time

all the energy

all the trust




wasted........

and what does that word "wasted" mean ?

when linked with a noun it means

  1. Not profitably used or maintained: a wasted inheritance.
  2. Needless or superfluous: These are wasted words.
  3. Deteriorated; ravaged: a wasted landscape.
  4. Frail and enfeebled, as from prolonged illness; emaciated.
and it is just sad





we are all human...

we are all capable of love and compassion

why do we not show that more often?

no...

instead

we indulge our other side

our darker side

taking thrill or even just going with the flow

and being malicious

spiteful

and just down right mean...




I am sick of it...

just plain SICK of it...




that is not constructive...

it helps no one...

not even yourself...


cuz if you are mean to people...

that is how youlose relationships

and we as humans NEED to have relationships...


basically we are all screwing ourselves over....



I remember a time when life was good

everything made sense...

there was love...



that was almost definatly the pre-teenage years

before innosence was lost

before you really had to start watching your back, un aware of the knives held by others, just waiting to stab into your back...

why the hell do we do this to ourselves ?!?!?!

NONE OF IT MATTERS IN THE END !!!!



I am running away from all this

runnning to the stars

where there is still space to dream of a world where everyone is kind to each other

everyone gets along

that is the beautiful thing about space...

to our knowledge...

it is endless...

nothing can ever truly be ruled out, because we will never be able to visit every planet...

maybe there is a world shaped by my dreams

sheltered by my hopes

filled with our un-used love...

void of the misery we use instead of the love

trying to gain the most material posessions

trying to reach the top

not caring who se step on in the process...

you know what?

fuck that...

FUCK that...

I am sick of it...

I am sick of everything...

I condemn everything that I know is bad to hell...

MY hell...

watching groups of  once "friends" rip and tear each other apart

not knowing whether the next day would be worse then the one before

alsmost subconciously hoping that it all would come to an end..,

hoping that the realization that there is a chance for a better life is found...

just end it...


right here....



right now....





done.............................








but then again...

I think of my faceless family

the ones I will give my most precious love too

the little ones I will help teach to love their neighbor, as themselves

to teach not to be petty and bicker with each other...

just appreciate the companionship of those they interact with

cherish the small things that make life detailed and worth living...

make a positive impact on this shit world...


we have lost so many

remembered how precious life is...

and how sadly we have quickly forgotten it...

thank you:

Charlie Cote
Ben S.
The two fellow PHSers who died on Whalen
Mr. (Chucky) *sorry I can't spell*


you left this earth, and for a brief moment, showed us how lucky we are to remain on it

able to have the oppertunity for another day to live and love each other



I am sorry that we have forgotten our fortune so quickly


I am sorry , as a whole, we have failed to honor your memory in a proper manner, and continue to take life for granted...




....... it is done........
 
 
Current Mood: existant...
 
 
mark373
16 May 2006 @ 09:22 pm
sometimes...

life is weird

life is funny

life is cruel

life is overwhelming

life is tiring

life is a bitch

life is happy

life is carefree

life is obnoxious

life is confusing


with all that said...


I guess there is only one generalization that I can make about life...



Life is.... well.... Life....



it is what it is, it is what you make it...

no matter what, you have to stay in control, don't let it take you over and just run it's course without your input...

cuz if you do... it flies by too fast...

and (I am only assuming, since I am far from this point) then at the end you sit there and think...


wow...




that sucked...



and that should never happen to anyone...



cuz then it isn't really YOUR life...

it is everybody else's who controled it...





-Mark-
 
 
Current Location: my aura
Current Mood: hmmmmmmm
Current Music: Keane (A great band... introduced to me by the bestest)
 
 
mark373
15 May 2006 @ 08:27 pm
Your Political Profile:
Overall: 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal